“中年危机”并非必然，相信这一迷思可能带来健康风险

If you ask someone what comes to mind when they hear the word midlife, 99.9 percent of the time the answer will be very specific: crisis. Ideas about middle age tend to skew negative, no matter the cause.

As a midlife researcher, this is worrying to me because I know just how pernicious these legacy beliefs can be. Yet the most prevalent negative interpretations of midlife are not supported by the research. The truth is so much more hopeful and, frankly, interesting.

While it’s hard to predict exactly who will experience this, it’s likely that 10 to 20 percent of people in midlife will go through some intense period of challenge and growth. For those folks, it’s important to remember that this isn’t a bad thing. First of all, the “crisis” is only part of the story, and not even the most interesting part. Whatever challenges you face are likely to be followed by changes to your life that will help you become freer, stronger, and more tuned in to what you really want for yourself in the second half of your life.

Debunking the myth of the midlife crisis isn’t just about correcting the record—it’s about harm reduction. Cultural notions have a real-time effect on our perception of our health and well-being in our middle years, and if the “information” is more myth than reality, that can have negative effects on our physical, psychological, and cognitive health.

Research done by Becca Levy, PhD, a professor of public health and psychology at Yale, and summarized in her book Breaking the Age Code, has shown the power of both negative and positive beliefs about aging to impact our healthspan and lifespan. Levy found that those who had more positive images of aging (e.g., being healthy and active) lived longer than those with the more stereotypical views about older adults as weak, forgetful, and slow. She also found that those with a more positive mindset about aging were healthier, with lower blood pressure and a lower risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease.

Beliefs about aging can eclipse the truth in many arenas. If a woman in her 50s whose children have just left the nest goes to see her physician about feeling excessively fatigued, depressed, and sleepless, the cliché of the midlife crisis makes it more likely that her concerns will be dismissed. This can lead to misdiagnosis for more serious conditions such as depression, autoimmune disorders, or hormonal deficiencies, which if recognized can be treated properly.

One of the best ways to set ourselves up for success when the sea of life starts to get choppy is to pay close attention to the way we are thinking about our story. Whether we know it or not, we are always telling ourselves stories in order to make meaning out of what happens to us and how it makes us feel. When we’re going through a rough patch, it helps immensely to take control of the narrative—moving from a negative frame of mind to a more hopeful one that emphasizes agency and opportunity. On the opposite end of the spectrum from folks who enter midlife ready for battle, many enter midlife on autopilot. Some assume they are stuck with the decisions made early in adulthood. Others want out but don’t imagine the alternatives or can’t see ways to improve circumstances.

Either way, it’s important to remember that it is possible to make tweaks or small changes in midlife; they don’t have to be radical ones. One of my colleagues on the MacArthur Foundation Research Network on Successful Midlife Development used to say, “Some people are so fed up at work that they quit their jobs in frustration, when all they really needed was a two-week vacation.” When we sleepwalk through midlife, at best it’s a missed opportunity for growth, and at worst it simply delays the challenges that will inevitably surface. What we know from the research is that middle age—whether or not you go through a “crisis”—is the time to reflect and make change.

I like to think of midlife as halftime in sports: Some of the important plays have been made, but not all. While a little discomfort with the poor choices of our past isn’t a bad thing, getting mired in regret isn’t something that helps anybody. You have the opportunity to breathe, examine what has come before, and start analyzing what you need to do next to reach your goals or modify them. There is plenty of time left after midlife, so reflection can help people see how they might move in different directions.

Check In with Yourself

For those who don’t know where to begin when it comes to reflecting on their life story and even changing it, there is good research to suggest that a “life review” can help. When done well, a midlife review can help you make sense of the past and bring clarity to your goals moving forward (find out more about how to do it below).

One strategy is to do life reviews at the decade milestones (40, 50, 60) and possibly at the halfway marks (45, 55, 65). Another strategy is to do it when there are significant life events that might require some readjustments, such as going through a divorce, a job loss, or having a child leave home. Midlife is a great time to revisit old stories and even consider some rewrites and new beginnings.

What to Ask When Doing a Midlife Review

• Ten (or five) years ago, what did I think I would be doing at this age/time?
• Which of these things am I doing, and which am I not doing?
• What is going well, and what is not going well?
• Are there things I am not happy about doing or not doing? What changes do I want to make?
• What is essential and what is less important?
• Where do I want to be in 10 (5) years? What things do I want to be doing in 10 (5) years?
• What changes do I need to make to get there?
• Are my expectations realistic or unrealistic?

It is important to keep in mind that it is unlikely that you will have accomplished everything you expected to by age 40, 50, or even 60. And it is unrealistic to think you will be happy with all areas of your life. If you think you are having a midlife crisis, ask yourself whether it’s really a crisis or if it’s just that you’re not happy with how some things are going. Maybe it’s just a time to make some changes. The life-shattering, ego-dissembling portrayal of the inescapable midlife crisis we have all become accustomed to is neither inevitable nor universal.

Excerpted from PRIMETIME. Copyright © 2026, Margie Lachman, PhD. Reproduced by permission of Simon Element, an imprint of Simon & Schuster. All rights reserved.